LOSING MY VOICE

Well life has intervened yet again, and I find myself neglecting my voice.  I have started a new job.  I have moved.  And I am really trying to carve out some semblance of routine and normal life structure.  But in doing so, I have let a few things slide: exercise, blogging, reflection, etc.  And while these things might not be crucial to a successful life, they are somewhat crucial to mine.  I miss thinking.  I miss sharing my thoughts.  I miss expressing my thoughts.  And what about my opinions.  It's not like I can share them with just anyone.  First of all, most people don't care what I think about the complete bastardization of the holiday season, nor does there ever seem to be a great time to throw down my often weighted opinions that seem to be bogged down in negativity.  But here, in this place, where almost no one will read this, I can be free to say what I feel.  I don't have to worry about who is listening or the look on their faces as I speak.  It is just me and a keyboard and a sense of weightless abandon.  But with any freedom comes a sense of fear.  What if I go to far? What if I say something that offends some one?  What if some one I don't want reading this, reads it?  What if it gets out that I am this feminist with a purpose?  I don't want that to be my identifying characteristic, and that is a real fear some modern feminists, we don't want to be mis-labeled as fem-Nazis.  Like most gay people I know don't want to be defined by their sexual orientation; they want to be "Joe" and only in their footnotes does it mention their orientation.  Well it is the same with me.  I don't want to be Feminist Dawn.  I want to be Dawn. Its not like I am this flag-waving, hairy-armpitted, boot wearing woman, spewing quotes from Simone de Beauvoir.  I haven't even finished reading "The Feminine Mystique" yet. And that isn't what I want this blog to be solely about.  It is about ME, and everything that means.  And so maybe it is time to find a group of people that I can converse with about things that should remain separate from the office.  While this is a great outlet, I think it would be nice to socialize with like-minded people.  Perhaps that will be my next project!!!!